Chocolate Cock Candle (Taken with instagram)
Why yes, that is a candle in the shape of a penis, lit and between my breasts.
Please take careful note of “extremely drunken eye & lip orientation”. That takes talent.
When your bump is so big you gotta slump down in that low-rider to make sure it doesn’t get flattened.
THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PHOTOS OF ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE. I feel like John Waters would treasure this and put it on his mantelpiece. I may do the same.
<3 <3 <3 It’s flattering enough you think John Waters would like it, but to make it onto your mantle, Clam, would be an honour that would have me gulping my tears from a jar.
Fascinating note: I took this photo for Clam, as she was, ironically, stuck in Sydney while I was in Melbourne off to a pancake date with anotherhookerblog & codyjhlsmith that Clam was going to attend but couldn’t after she got stuck in Sydney… that just went full circle, didn’t it?
I’m sharing these tried & true rules with you because I’m feeling magnanimous. This is classic, gold, cannot be beaten stuff. This is actually legit the only real fashion advice you really need. You may not agree, but you would be wrong.
* Red is the only colour you will ever really need in lipstick and nailpolish
* The higher the hair the closer to God
* One of everything in leopard-print
* Push-up bras in black, red and white
* You can never have too many shoes but at the very least have one pair of black 6-inch stiletto court-heels
* Big fuck-off sunglasses. The more you look like a fly with them on, the better
* No such thing as too much black eye-liner
* Whatever perfume you wear, make sure you wear it with such aplomb people come to associate it exclusively with you
* Flesh-coloured fishnet stockings
* Giant fuck-off gold hoop earrings
* When in doubt, bling it up
* Flip the bird liberally and often
Like this:
OKAY adding a little extra note to this:
Many people ask me about accessories. Obviously, in my world, there is no such thing is “too much”. I abide by the rule “sometimes less is just less”.
But is there such a thing as “too little”?
In my opinion, to complete a look, you need only two key accessories:
- Painted nails
- Earrings
Everything else is optional. Obviously, some outfits will do better with more accessories, but at an absolute minimum, if you want your look to be finished, these are the essentials.
OBVIOUSLY, if your toenails are on display they must be painted, not just fingernails!
I also did a count-up of my leopard print items to see what gaps I have to fill:
Sunnies? Check
Coat? Check
Dress? Check
Pants? Check
Skirt? Check
Earrings & other assorted jewellery? Check
Stilettos? Check
Flats? Check
Bag? Check
Underwear? Check
Nightie? Check
Blouse? Check
Cardigan? Check
Shorts? Check
oh and remember how I said I didn’t have a leopard print jumpsuit? Have since amended that terrible situation.
There’s a few items on that list that could do with a bit of improving and I’m missing a playsuit and a few more styles in a couple of items but on the whole… not doing too badly.
My life is officially meaningless because this car is not part of it.
(Source: clambistro)
Man, I have hot friends. Gonna be in Melbs for, like, an eyeblink this weekend. We should try and have some face time.Daddy thought I looked hella cute today and insisted on taking a snap as I rushed out the door for another day of the new and improved, productive, healthy whoreliday lyfestyle.
Dress, shorts and tights are all Target.
Black vinyl 8 hole Dr Martens
That ‘Daddy’s Girl’ braceletFreshly washed hair and false eyelashes makin me look purty (god I love that I’m good enough at falsies now to wear them most days)
Lipstick is MAC ‘girl about town’, blush is MAC ‘so sweet, so easy’ with some cheap powder stuff over the top.
Now I’m going to make you all look at photos of SOME of my fave hairstyles I’ve done on myself.
That’s it, picspam honestly over now.
FRIEND DUMP!
If ‘Memories’ has finished, switch to ‘I Am A Woman in Love’ - my fave Babs song.
With some of my best friends and most favourite people. Even though I blurred out most of their faces - I wasn’t comfy posting their pics publicly otherwise.
I know this pic dump was pretty gratuitous, but look at it this way: some people post dozens of photos of themselves every day. I got it out of the way in one fell swoop. Boo yah!
AND HAVE A BUNCH MORE!
KEEP ‘MEMORIES’ PLAYING!
Someone asked me recently why I didn’t post more photos of myself. So here’s a bunch from when I actually liked the way I looked.
Best viewed with Barbara Streisand’s “Memories” playing in the background.
(via Supermarket Sarah)
can i please either make this poster size or a tattoo on my body forever?
this sums me up to a tea…
Hells to the yeah!
Fangushing and resources on Harley Quinn and the Joker. You know me as the babe who runs www.harley-quinn.com.
Anyways, this is where I'm a fan geek.
